al anon recovery

Well I have been in Al Anon for over 7 years now...Some days it just seems like yesterday and some days i still act like yesterday. My husband has been sober also for the past 7 years. But why do i keep going to Al anon?? Well for one thing, i enjoy helping new comers, i feel that if someone was there for me to help me when i was new, i have the responsibility to help those new comers now that are in need.
Also i still need Al Anon, to help me.. So what does this mean...It means that sometimes i react to what people say, it means sometimes i think everything that goes wrong is my fault, it means sometimes i people please, it means sometimes i feel guilty when i state my boundaries and say no....and much more!!!
So does that mean that i am not in Al Anon because of my alcoholic husband??? That is correct.. I am not in al anon to change someone else, i am in there to change myself..Did i start going because of my alcoholic husband...that is also correct, i started going because a counselor suggested i go, because my marriage had fallen apart, because my focus was ALWAYS on my husband, i didn't know where he left off and where i started, and because yes, like some other people in al anon, i wanted to end my life...why??? because i am codependent...
That brings me to a new subject, what is codependent....My definition of codependent is.....a disease that gets progressively worse as the years go on, i focus all my attention on what you want and it doesn't matter what i want...i lose myself in you because i do everything you want and nothing that i want...the more i do it to please you, the more i have to continue to do it to please you...


what does codependent mean to you???? please post your definitions....